


sun: facing your fears

by SEMellark



Series: KHR Omegaverse [3]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bullying, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Gender Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Miscommunication, Pack Dynamics, Queerplatonic Relationships, References to attempted suicide, Self-Esteem Issues, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-10-23 18:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17688917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEMellark/pseuds/SEMellark
Summary: "My older brother is a member of the boxing club," Kyouko explained, offering the both of them a soft, almost imploring smile. "He's offered to teach you both a few things, if you want.""Really?" Tsuna and Gokudera exchanged a glance. Word had obviously spread about their confrontation with Suzuki, but no one had yet reacted in quite this way. All day, their classmates had been giving them a wide berth, like mixing up with them was to be avoided at all costs. "Your brother... wouldn't mind?""Of course not! Ryouhei's been teaching me since we were little. He's excited at the idea of new pupils, trust me on this."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note: This story takes place in (mostly) modern day. Definitely in the era of heightened technology (iPhones, skype, facetime, etc.). The reason I'm mentioning this will become apparent in later parts, lol.

On Monday morning, Tsuna and Gokudera walked up to Namimori Middle only to find that the building had undergone some changes; specifically the roof, which now had a tall, chain-link fence surrounding the perimeter.

Gokudera whistled. “They did all that yesterday? Everything gets done so quickly in Japan.”

Tsuna stared up at the looming structure, imagining himself and Yamamoto up there, all those weeks ago. The fence would have been helpful then. A lot of schools had them nowadays, but Namimori just… never did. Until now, apparently.

And Tsuna couldn’t help but wonder…

***

Something felt off in school that day, though Tsuna couldn’t figure out why. No specific thing or person seemed to be the culprit; it was more a lingering, oppressive atmosphere that affected Tsuna’s classmates and teachers. Everyone was distracted, nervous for some indiscernible reason. Tsuna didn’t really care as much. He lived in a different world from his peers. That sort of ominous, weighted feeling was nothing new to him. 

Tsuna opted to just ignore it. It had nothing to do with him.

He and Gokudera had cleaning duty after classes had ended for the day. Takeda made it a point to pair the two of them together whenever he could; maybe he wanted to make sure the new transfer student was comfortable, or maybe he felt badly for the infinitely scorned Tsuna, who had so very few people with which he felt comfortable.

Tsuna didn’t care either way. He felt he and Gokudera were past the first awkward stages of their relationship. As soon as their classmates left for home or various clubs, Gokudera became an entirely different person. Gone were the tense silences and uncertain glances from the day, replaced instead by the light conversation and furtive smiles they shared at home.

There was still something cautious and airy about the way Gokudera held himself, but Tsuna was starting to get a clearer picture of the person Gokudera was; or who he might’ve been, under different circumstances.

“Did you hear what Iki said earlier?” Gokudera asked from the back of the classroom, where he was pulling the brooms they needed to sweep the floors from the closet.

“About courting?” Tsuna ventured, coughing into the cloud of chalk dust that was thrown up when he clapped the chalkboard erasers together. “Not really, I wasn’t paying much attention.”

“’Courting is so _dumb,_ why can’t we just go out to karaoke and call it good?’” Gokudera said mockingly, in a poor imitation of Iki’s deep, slow drawl. Tsuna laughed regardless. “Like he’s got everything figured out? I bet he doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.”

Tsuna hummed. “Mom always talks about her courtship with my dad like it was the greatest thing in the world. But that was… I don’t know, seventeen years ago? Things are different now, I guess.”

“We take those things very seriously in Naples,” Gokudera said. “Not that I have much experience with it. But you’d _never_ hear anyone say something like that where I come from. A courtship can make or break an entire mating.”

“I guess it’s a cultural thing,” Tsuna replied, turning his head when he heard a muffled jingling sound from his desk. “I think that’s my phone. Would you get it for me, it might be Mom.”

Gokudera nodded, leaning one of the brooms against the wall so one hand was free to go rooting through Tsuna’s backpack. “Yamamoto wants to know if you’re still here,” Gokudera said once he’d found Tsuna’s phone and skimmed over it. “He wants to talk to you about something.”

“That’s weird,” Tsuna mused. “He isn’t normally done with practice until five-thirty or six. Tell him we’re still up in the classroom.”

Gokudera nodded, typing out the message before putting Tsuna’s phone in his backpack and zipping it up. “I didn’t know you even had a cell-phone.”

“Yamamoto-kun’s the only one who really messages me,” Tsuna said, clapping the erasers together again. “Mom said I should have one in case she needs to reach me, but it’s not like I go anywhere aside from school.”

Gokudera breathed out a soft laugh before twitching and turning his head toward the classroom’s front-most door. Fast footsteps sounded from the hall, growing gradually closer. “That was fast,” commented Gokudera.

“You’re done with practice early,” Tsuna said in greeting as Yamamoto came into the room. He set the erasers down and turned back to the beta. “Did something happen?”

“Coach told us to go home after our meeting,” Yamamoto said as he walked up to him, looking harried. “Suzuki was kicked off the team.”

Tsuna’s blood ran cold. Gokudera shifted nervously amidst the rows of desks, clutching the handle of his broom with white knuckles.

This was what Tsuna had been afraid of. Suzuki was probably a vital part of the school’s baseball team, being both an upperclassman and an alpha. For some reason, Hibari had decided to bring the situation to the baseball coach’s attention. Tsuna had just thrown a wrench in the structure and dynamic of the team that they likely wouldn’t recover from before tournament season. “I – I’m sorry, Yamamoto-kun,” Tsuna began, but Yamamoto shook his head, jaw clenched.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Yamamoto asked, face pinched in a way that Tsuna found worryingly familiar. “How come I had to find out that way?”

Tsuna floundered for something to say, heart an anxious patter in his chest as he cowered underneath Yamamoto’s stare. “I didn’t want to cause problems for you,” he began, though he was immediately filled with regret as Yamamoto’s dark eyes widened. “It really wasn’t a big deal, Suzuki was just worried – “

“Forget about Suzuki!” Yamamoto exclaimed, as close to raising his voice as Tsuna had ever heard from the usually laid-back beta. Gokudera whined a little, but Tsuna couldn’t tear his focus from Yamamoto long enough to comfort him. “I don’t care about him, I barely knew him. He _assaulted_ you, Tsuna, _two days_ ago. And I didn’t know about it.”

Tsuna’s ears were ringing. He felt off-balance, like he’d fall over at the slightest force. All he knew was that Yamamoto was angry, he was mad at him, Tsuna had to fix this, he knew this would happen eventually, _what could he do to fix this_ –

“It was my problem,” said Tsuna, his voice sounding far away even to his own ears. Yamamoto’s face swam before him. The beta seemed horrified. “And I thought you’d take his side.”

Gokudera made a choked noise, and Yamamoto flinched back like Tsuna had struck him, hunching his shoulders. “I gotta – “ the beta said in a rush, trailing off as his voice cracked. He tossed his head, like he was shaking water from his ears, before turning and dashing from the room. All Tsuna could do was watch him go.

“You can stop now,” Gokudera said quietly, when Yamamoto was long gone and Tsuna had yet to move. He sounded shaken, definitely, but mostly he just seemed worried, hurrying over to Tsuna’s side.

For a moment, Tsuna didn’t know what Gokudera was talking about. But then he noticed how dizzy he was getting, vision blurred from something other than tears. He lost his balance slightly, falling against the chalkboard. Gokudera swayed after him, dropping the broom like he’d meant to steady Tsuna. It clattered to the floor with a loud sound that rang in Tsuna’s ears.

“Careful, you might have cervical vertigo,” said Gokudera, hands hovering by Tsuna’s right shoulder but never actually touching it. Tsuna whimpered slightly, straightening his head from its tilted position. Cervical vertigo happened sometimes when omegas presented their necks, either too quickly or at a poor angle.

It was nothing Tsuna hadn't dealt with before; but as his desperate fear began to dissipate, Tsuna felt absolutely mortified. He’d tried to _submit_ to Yamamoto.

He buried his face in his hands, shuddering out deep breaths and pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. This was the part of himself that Tsuna hated most; the part that was deeply omega and rolled over at the first sign of trouble.

And Yamamoto had _seen._ He would understand now, why their classmates had targeted Tsuna all these years. Because Tsuna was weak, stupid, no good. He couldn’t defend himself or get a grip on his own instincts, despite having presented over two years ago.

He would see that Suzuki had been right. Yamamoto had gotten involved with Tsuna, and nothing good had come of it.

Tsuna felt a light touch on his shoulder, growing firmer as Tsuna was guided away from the chalkboard. “It’s okay, Tsuna, you’re okay.” Gokudera wound an arm around Tsuna’s shoulders, taking hold of Tsuna’s right forearm with the other. “Yamamoto isn’t angry with you.”

“He is!” Tsuna gasped out. “I ruined everything again!”

Gokudera shushed him, tugging gently. “You didn’t ruin anything. Here, come with me. Just take little steps.”

Tsuna could do little but cry, letting Gokudera guide him to the closest desk and ease him down into it. “Just relax for a minute,” the other omega instructed. “Breathe deeply. Everything will stop spinning soon.”

Everything had already stopped spinning; but there was still a lingering nausea, and Tsuna’s stomach churned ominously, threatening to expel everything Tsuna had eaten throughout the day. Still, he breathed as Gokudera instructed, unable to resist with Gokudera crouched down before him, staring up at Tsuna so earnestly.

He didn’t know how long they stayed there. Gokudera eventually wandered off to finish cleaning the room by himself. Tsuna listened to the soft swishes of the broom as Gokudera swept up all the chalk dust. He listened to the sounds of the school: a whistle being blown from the field, faint music drifting up from the cultural clubs' building.

The weird atmosphere from the day seemed to be gone. Tsuna might have been the only one who didn’t feel any better for it.

***

Nana took one look at him and knew something was wrong. Tsuna loved her so desperately in the moments it took her to abandon her vacuuming, wipe her hands on her pink apron, and hurry over to him. All he’d thought about on the walk home was getting back to her. Come what may, Nana would always be Tsuna’s safe space, his only place to return. “What happened?” she demanded, taking Tsuna’s face in her hands. “Your skin is so clammy!”

“I got cervical vertigo,” said Tsuna. Gokudera nodded beside him. “It was pretty bad this time.”

Nana made a distressed sound, drawing Tsuna to her like Gokudera had back in the classroom. “Here, come sit down,” she cooed, leading him to the couch. He heard Gokudera starting up the stairs behind them, probably going to put their backpacks in Tsuna’s room. “You tried to submit to someone? Were you being threatened?”

“No, I – “ Tsuna choked on his words. How could he possibly tell her he’d submitted to his only friend. And not out of respect or anything of the sort – out of _fear._ “It was an accident, I didn’t mean to – “

Nana shushed him, taking his hands in hers as they sank down onto the couch together. “I know, sweetie, I know. It’s not your fault. You did what you thought you had to, no one can blame you for that.”

Tsuna disagreed. Completely and wholeheartedly. He sniffled, congested and aching all over. Nana ran her fingers through his hair, humming low in the back of her throat. “Tsunayoshi,” she murmured. “Can I touch your neck?”

Tsuna nodded immediately, for he’d almost been hoping she’d ask. Nana was careful as she moved her hand to the nape of his neck, applying a pressure that was wholly removed from the way Suzuki had done it. “There you go,” said Nana as Tsuna started to go limp. She positioned him so she supported the majority of his body weight, tucking his head into the curve of her neck and shoulder. “I’ve got you, everything’s okay now.”

The omega’s eyes fluttered shut. Nana hadn’t done this in a long time, mostly because Tsuna hadn’t let her. He’d felt weak for needing this sometimes, but Tsuna just couldn’t bring himself to care now. It was different when it was someone Tsuna trusted, someone he loved. His lack of control didn’t scare him; he knew he was safe here, and that Nana would protect him.

Footsteps sounded. Tsuna wasn’t worried about it. “What happened?” That was Reborn's voice. “He okay?”

“He tried to submit to someone, apparently,” replied Nana, her tone soft and light. “He got cervical vertigo.”

A rumbling growl. Tsuna squeezed out a small, low whine, and the growling stopped. “Did someone threaten him?”

“I asked the same thing. He said no, but,” she started running her fingers through Tsuna’s hair again, “I can’t say for sure. He’s not normally this upset.”

“This happens often? Nana – “

“We were handling it,” said Nana, calmly. “He’s getting better. This is the first time it’s happened in months.”

“Why didn’t you tell us? We could’ve – _I_ would’ve – “

Tsuna felt Nana’s chin brush his forehead as she shook her head. Her gentle grip on the back of his neck tightened briefly before relaxing once more. “Tsu-kun doesn’t need an alpha throwing his weight around. You do more by just being here than you could by storming into that school.”

Reborn said something else, but Tsuna’s comprehension of the world around him was starting to fizzle out. It wasn’t a bad feeling; Tsuna liked feeling weightless every once in a while.

“Tsuna.” The sound of his name dragged Tsuna back out for a few, brief moments. Reborn’s and Nana’s voices were muffled, like Tsuna was listening from under a fuzzy blanket. “I know you can still hear us, kiddo. Whatever happened, we’ll help you deal with it, okay? Don’t worry so much, you’ll start going bald like your old man.”

“Oh, he’ll so be embarrassed when he wakes up… but that’s all right,” said Nana. “We love you, Tsu-kun. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

And Tsuna drifted off, just like that.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the amount of updates have been overwhelming! They'll slow down now; I have three exams and two presentations due within the next few weeks so... had to get content out while I still could.

Tsuna usually slept through the night on the days Nana put him under, and that day was no different. He woke up once a little after midnight, went down to the kitchen, chugged three glasses of water, then went right back to bed.

Nana, Reborn, and Gokudera were all waiting for him when Tsuna eventually came down for breakfast. Nana bounced over to him and pulled him into a hug that both irritated and soothed Tsuna’s aching bones. Reborn gave him a once over before nodding. Gokudera lit up like a neon sign.

“I made pancakes,” said Nana as she set Tsuna’s plate down in front of him. They were shaped like hearts. “You look better this morning, Tsu-kun.”

“I feel better,” Tsuna replied. It was mostly the truth. “Thanks for, um, you know…”

“I haven’t seen you that relaxed since you were a baby,” Reborn commented around a mouthful of pancake. “Like that one time… right before you started shrieking and burst my eardrum?”

“Ha-ha,” Tsuna said, because he’d heard all the stories before. Many times.

“Did he really?” asked Gokudera. “Or are you exaggerating?”

Reborn shook his head. “I’m dead serious. Our Tsuna here has had powerful lungs since day one. He could take over the world, you know, just scream his enemies into submission.”

“Lucky for you, I don’t care about world domination.”

“Are you going to school today, Tsu-kun?” Nana asked, knocking a gentle fist down on top of Reborn’s head as she passed him. The older alpha mumbled a “ _Spiacente_ “ around his fork. “You look like you’re all dressed and ready to go.”

Nana was really worried about him, then. She normally didn’t give Tsuna the option to skip considering his grades. He thought about how she’d been the day before, so obviously upset but keeping herself calm for Tsuna’s sake. If the situation were different, Tsuna probably would’ve taken up her unspoken offer.

But now that Tsuna had calmed down (a little), he was starting to see this was one problem he couldn’t avoid.

“Yeah, I probably should,” Tsuna said, sharing a look with Gokudera. “I need to deal with what happened yesterday.”

“Hayato and I can knock some heads together, if you want,” Reborn said. Gokudera flushed, eyes darting nervously to Nana, but he dipped his head in agreement with a determined glint in his eyes.

Tsuna laughed. “That’s okay. Thanks for the offer, though.”

Tsuna and Gokudera finished their breakfasts quickly after that, both under some unspoken agreement that they needed to get to school early if Tsuna was going to catch Yamamoto. He didn’t really want to confront the beta in front of the whole class, so he wanted to get the talk over with as quickly as possible.

Kyouko and a few others were the only people in the room when Tsuna and Gokudera arrived, panting slightly from their run through the school building. They’d only been yelled at once by a passing alpha teacher, but the woman’s attempt was half-hearted.

“Tsuna-kun? Gokudera-kun?” Kyouko seemed bewildered as the two of them shuffled back to their desks. She quickly put her phone away. “What’s the rush? You weren’t even close to being late.”

“Have you seen Yamamoto-kun?” Tsuna asked. “I really need to talk to him.”

Kyouko shook her head. “I didn’t see the team on the practice lot when I walked up. I guess they didn’t have morning practice today.”

Tsuna deflated slightly. “Oh, okay.” He sat down at his desk, staring at Yamamoto’s empty one at the front. He’d just have to wait.

Five minutes went by. Then ten, fifteen, twenty. Students started trickling in with sleep-blurred eyes, but Yamamoto wasn’t among them. And by the time homeroom started, he still wasn’t there.

Tsuna felt a blooming ache in his chest.

When Yamamoto hadn’t made an appearance by lunchtime, Tsuna accepted the fact that his friend was skipping. He couldn’t remember the last time Yamamoto had missed a day of school. Even before they began talking with any sort of frequency, Tsuna always noted how Yamamoto showed up diligently, only missing for baseball related matters.

Yamamoto was avoiding him, and Tsuna couldn’t pretend to be oblivious as to why.

But Tsuna couldn't just sit around and feel sorry for himself when he'd caused all this by not being honest. There were still things he could do, even if it felt like his whole world was crashing down around him.

***

Tsuna shifted his weight from foot to foot, staring at the closed door before him. Should he go in? He couldn’t tell just from scent alone if anyone was there or not; maybe they’d gone to lunch? He wasn’t sure what the etiquette here was, didn’t want to step on any toes if he didn’t absolutely have to…

The door slid open before Tsuna could chicken out and hurry away. Kusakabe Tetsuya stood staring down on Tsuna, expression neutral as the omega floundered for something, anything to say. “You can come in,” he said after a moment, stepping aside. “Just make it brief. Hibari-san is very busy.”

Unsurprisingly, Tsuna had never been in the Disciplinary Committee room before. It used to serve as the principal’s office, but Hibari had commandeered it for his own personal use early in his reign. Everyone knew the school was Hibari’s territory, but the Disciplinary Committee room was Hibari’s den, for lack of a better term.

Tsuna had heard the horror stories. Those who were “invited” here rarely had good things to say about the experience.

It was surprisingly normal, at least compared to what Tsuna had been expecting; a dungeon, maybe? An artillery base lined with swords and spare tonfas? It looked just like any other room in the school, although the floors had dark blue carpeting, and the ceilings didn’t look like they leaked every monsoon season. The walls on either side of Tsuna were lined with bookshelves, each shelf full of binders, boxes, and various papers. There were even two, dark leather couches on either side of an antique looking coffee table.

In the middle of it all was Hibari, standing behind his desk and watching Tsuna with a cool expression. “Sawada,” he said. “You didn’t make an appointment.”

Tsuna laughed, hand reaching up to rub at the back of his neck nervously. “Uh, yeah, sorry about that. I can come back later if you’re busy, Hibari-san.”

Hibari shook his head, sitting down in his leather chair – a nicer one than any of the teachers had, definitely – and gesturing for Tsuna to do the same. “I have time. Kusakabe, leave us.”

Tsuna’s nerves got the better of him as Hibari’s subordinate dipped his head and left the room, taking with him any hope Tsuna had of a calm confrontation. Even though Kusakabe was Hibari’s second-in-command, the beta was a lot more low-key than Hibari. He was rumored to keep the alpha in check when things started to go too far. Even if Tsuna didn’t know him very well, having him around would have been appreciated.

After taking a deep breath, Tsuna sat down on one of the couches in the middle of the room. The couches were angled away from Hibari, so sitting straight forward meant Tsuna couldn’t face the alpha and talk to him directly. Maybe that was for the best, but Tsuna could almost feel Hibari’s eyes on the side of his face as he worked up the courage to speak.

“I, um. I saw the roof,” said Tsuna eventually. “Was that because of you?”

“Obviously,” Hibari replied. “It would reflect badly on the school if we had incidents with students jumping.”

“Did you tell anyone about… about what I said?”

“No one else needed to know. Kusakabe may have looked at my report, but he’s the only other person who has access.”

Tsuna let out a sigh of relief. “Okay. Um, I guess I just wanted to thank you? I know I wasn’t very nice when we talked. You didn’t have to – “

“None of us are here to be nice to one another,” Hibari interrupted, shifting in his seat and drawing Tsuna’s eye. He leaned over to prop himself up on an elbow, resting his head on his curled knuckles. They were red, Tsuna noticed. Not bruised, but only just barely. “You raised a concern, and I dealt with it.”

“Still,” Tsuna said firmly. “As someone who almost lost a friend up there… it means a lot to me.”

Hibari was quiet for a while, but the alpha looked as if he was mulling something over. Atop his thighs, Tsuna’s hands curled into fists while he waited.

“I spoke with Mikazuki, the baseball coach,” the alpha said. Tsuna had been hoping he wouldn’t bring it up. “I found it hard to believe that he was running a tight ship if the team captain was acting out like that.”

Suzuki was the team captain? Oh, god, no wonder Yamamoto was so upset. Something in Tsuna’s expression must have given away his trepidation, because Hibari frowned, straightening up once more. “You don’t seem pleased.”

“It’s not that,” said Tsuna with a sigh. “It’s just… well, it’s complicated.”

“Has anyone from the team approached you about it?”

“No,” Tsuna said immediately, hoping his lie didn’t bleed into his scent.

Hibari made a noncommittal sound. “Your beta friend is on the team, isn’t he?” At Tsuna’s silence, Hibari continued, “I was almost surprised Mikazuki hadn’t heard about the incident when I spoke with him about it. Yamamoto doesn’t seem like the type to keep quiet about something like that. Unless,” Hibari paused, giving Tsuna an opportunity to interject, which he didn’t take, “he wasn’t made aware of it.”

“Yamamoto-kun has more important things to worry about,” Tsuna mumbled, averting his gaze when Hibari quirked an eyebrow. “I told you it’s complicated. I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Fair enough,” Hibari acquiesced, even though they both knew Hibari would find out what he wanted to know eventually. “Was that all, then? You just came to thank me?”

Tsuna nodded, getting to his feet. “That was it.”

Hibari continued to study him, saying nothing. Tsuna took that as his cue and dipped his head slightly before turning and leaving the room.

When Tsuna stepped outside, Kusakabe was standing against the wall just to his left. Tsuna dipped his head to him as well, though the beta just stared with an expression that seemed… perplexed.

Tsuna left before he could think too deeply about it.

***

Gokudera was still in the classroom where Tsuna left him, sitting at his desk and talking quietly with Kyouko. He straightened up when Tsuna walked into the room, trailing his movement with his eyes without saying a word. “Well, looks like Hibari-san didn’t bite you to death,” Kyouko commented as Tsuna sat down at his own desk. “You got to say what you wanted?”

Tsuna nodded, purposefully ignoring how Gokudera leaned forward a bit to sniff him. “I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear that he doesn’t like being thanked.”

Kyouko giggled. “Yeah, I could’ve figured that one out.”

Tsuna sighed, adjusting in his chair so he was facing Kyouko and could see Gokudera out of his periphery. “What did you have to go thank him for?” Gokudera grumbled. “From what I’ve heard, he’s just an over glorified gang leader.”

“The school is technically his territory,” said Kyouko. “It’s better to stay on his good side.”

“How did that even happen? It’s like even the teachers are scared of him.”

“Honestly, we have no idea,” Tsuna said while Kyouko shrugged. “It happened before we got here, and anyone who was around when Hibari-san was a first year has graduated already.”

Gokudera turned his head slightly to glare out the window, chin resting in the palm of his hand. “What kind of weirdo wants to stay in junior high forever?”

Tsuna didn’t have an answer. He’d wondered the same thing himself many times before. Hibari Kyouya was at the center of Namimori Middle’s greatest mysteries: Why did he refuse to graduate? Why was he the one in charge, and why did the adults go along with it?

“Tsuna-kun, I actually wanted to ask you something,” Kyouko said, drawing Tsuna’s attention. She seemed nervous. “I don’t want you to think I’m prying or anything – “

“I won’t!” Tsuna assured her, although he had no clue what she wanted to say. “You can ask me anything.”

“It’s about, um, what happened the other day,” she ventured, eyes darting between Tsuna and Gokudera, who had turned his focus back to them. “With Suzuki Abe?”

Gokudera growled lowly, startling a group of girls who were eating their lunches in the far corner of the room. Tsuna waved at them awkwardly. “What about that asshole?”

Kyouko blinked, seemingly surprised. This was probably the first time she’d ever seen Gokudera so emotive. “It’s not about him, specifically. I just wanted to say, I’m sorry that happened, Tsuna-kun. I’m really glad he didn’t get away with it.”

Even if he didn’t exactly agree, Tsuna nodded, albeit a little miserably. “I actually talked to my brother about it,” Kyouko continued, “and we were wondering – “

“Brother?” Tsuna blurted out. “You have a brother?”

Kyouko laughed a little when Tsuna ducked his head, embarrassed that he’d interrupted. “Yeah, his name’s Ryouhei. We’re from the same litter, but he’s a little older than me. He’s in class three with Hana-chan.”

Tsuna couldn’t believe he hadn’t known this about Kyouko until now. She’d always been friendly with him, compared to their peers, but Tsuna didn’t think they would’ve been considered friends until recently. Even so, Tsuna used to have the biggest crush on her; how had he missed something as obvious as a _sibling?_

“He’s always been very protective of me, ever since we were small,” Kyouko said. “He got really into boxing and then started teaching me what he learned. It’s something he’s really passionate about, you know? So, he got kinda fired up when I told him about what happened the other day. He wants to help you guys.”

“Help us?” Gokudera echoed.

"My brother is a member of the boxing club," Kyouko explained, offering the both of them a soft, almost imploring smile. "He's offered to teach you both a few things, if you want."

"Really?" Tsuna and Gokudera exchanged a glance. Word had obviously spread about their confrontation with Suzuki, but no one had yet reacted in quite this way. All day, their classmates had been giving them a wide berth, like mixing up with them was to be avoided at all costs. "Your brother... wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not! Ryouhei's been teaching me since we were little. He's excited at the idea of new pupils, trust me on this."

“… It couldn’t hurt, right?” Tsuna ventured, waiting for Gokudera’s response. He didn’t care either way, though he was a little emotional at the thought of Kyouko and her family members wanting to help him, and he wanted to take up her offer if he could. Gokudera still didn’t do well with strangers, but Tsuna also didn’t want to do something that would leave Gokudera without him for however long. “It might be fun?”

Surprisingly, Gokudera nodded without much pause. “I think it’s a good idea.”

Kyouko clapped her hands together, her grin almost giddy. “Great! I’m meeting Ryouhei in the school’s dojo after school, so you two can come with me.”

Tsuna couldn’t help but smile as well; Kyouko’s excitement was particularly infectious. What exactly would her brother be like? He was interested to find out.

“Oh! We should ask – “ Tsuna began, though he cut himself off almost immediately. Helplessly, he glanced toward the front of the room.

“It’ll be okay, Tsuna-kun,” Kyouko said gently, following Tsuna’s gaze. “You and Yamamoto-kun will make up.”

Tsuna blinked, glancing curiously at Gokudera. How had Kyouko known about that? Had they been talking about it while Tsuna was visiting Hibari?

“Oh, sorry, um, Yamamoto-kun messaged me this morning,” Kyouko said hurriedly, wincing like it was some huge burden she’d been bearing. “He asked me to get his homework for him. He didn’t say you two had a fight, but… well, I could tell.”

Tsuna lowered his gaze to the floor. “It… wasn’t really a fight.”

“ _Whatever_ it was,” Kyouko insisted, “you two will get past it. I know you will.”

“Once Yamamoto stops avoiding the problem, yes,” Gokudera snorted, sounding particularly bristly. Tsuna desperately hoped this situation wouldn’t leave Gokudera distrusting Yamamoto in any way. “ _Tsuna_ came to work things out. He couldn’t even meet him halfway.”

“He’s had a rough couple of months,” Tsuna said, feeling defensive on Yamamoto’s behalf. “I don’t blame him for needing a break.”

Gokudera met Tsuna’s eyes, and after a moment, his icy expression thawed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“It’ll work out,” Kyouko said. “And maybe you’ll have some cool moves to show him when he gets back!”

Tsuna smiled, appreciating the other omega’s attempt to lighten the mood. Too many good people were getting dragged into Tsuna’s messes. He really needed to fix this, and soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, here's an update

Sasagawa Ryouhei was… something altogether _different_ than Tsuna what had expected.

He could see the superficial resemblance between Kyouko and her brother. They had the same eyes and smile. Their base scents were the same; sugary, like someone in their home spent a lot of time baking. But the similarities seemingly ended there.

Upon stepping foot in the school’s dojo, Tsuna barely had time to register the stench of stale sweat before a loud voice and rough hands accosted him. Honestly, it was like the boy appeared out of nowhere, staring down at Tsuna with eerily familiar eyes. That was probably the only reason the omega didn’t freak out.

“You guys actually came! Way to be, Kyouko,” said Ryouhei, grabbing for Tsuna’s hand to clasp it within both of his own, shaking it like he couldn’t contain his excitement. He was tanned, like he spent a lot of time outside, with a pale scar just above his left eyebrow. His hair was a paler blond than Kyouko's; almost white, like Gokudera's. “I’m Ryouhei, Kyouko’s big brother. But you probably already knew that.”

“Ryouhei,” sighed Kyouko when Tsuna shot her a bewildered glance, “don’t you think you’re coming on a little strong?”

“Am I?” Ryouhei’s eyes widened, and he jumped back, releasing Tsuna’s hand. “Sorry, I didn’t mean – “

“You’re fine,” Tsuna assured him, attention divided between Ryouhei and Gokudera, who was hovering behind him. He could imagine the shudders slamming closed, trapping the other omega in a place he’d only just recently begun to venture out of. “I’m Sawada Tsunayoshi, and this is Gokudera Hayato.”

Ryouhei nodded. “My sister’s told me about you both. Sorry about what happened with that Suzuki guy.” His eyes narrowed slightly, and he punched a fist into his own open palm. “Want me to beat him up?”

“Thanks but… no.” Tsuna shook his head with a small laugh. This guy and Kyouko were really siblings? “He got kicked off the baseball team, so everything’s good, I guess.”

“Oh, sweet,” Ryouhei said. “That’s exactly what he deserves. I’d like to see him try and pull that on – “

“We’re here to train, did you forget?” Kyouko asked, maneuvering herself behind her brother and taking him by the shoulders, steering him further into the open room. “Stop overwhelming them, it’s only the first day.”

“Is it too late to go home?” murmured Gokudera. He looked pale when Tsuna turned to him, eyes flitting nervously about the room. “We could learn the same stuff from Reborn.”

Tsuna shook his head. “I don’t wanna bother him with this. You can just sit and watch, if you want, or you can go home. I won’t force you to stay, but,” Tsuna glanced toward the Sasagawa siblings, “I think this is something I have to do.”

Gokudera sighed. “I’ll stay with you. I’ll get used to him. Probably.”

“I don’t think we need to get too deep into this,” Ryouhei was saying when Tsuna and Gokudera came over. “Even basic defense is pretty valuable.” He crossed his arms over his chest, glancing over Tsuna and Gokudera thoughtfully. “Would you be okay if I asked you some questions about what happened with Suzuki?”

“Sure,” Tsuna said, even if he was getting pretty tired of talking about the incident.

“I’m guessing you had your back to him? It’s pretty easy to ruin someone’s angle if you see them coming for you.” At Tsuna’s nod, Ryouhei continued, “Can you remember how long it took you to drop?”

“How long?” Tsuna echoed.

“It isn’t the same for every omega,” Kyouko explained, and despite this being something that seemed pertinent to Tsuna, as an omega, this was the first he was hearing of it. “The time between having your nape grabbed and losing all autonomy varies from person to person. I drop after about two seconds.”

Tsuna frowned, trying to remember all the times he’d been grabbed by the nape, familiarly or otherwise, and how long it took him to lose control of his movements. “It was, like, a second,” Gokudera said, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Maybe less. It happened really fast.”

Ryouhei nodded, brow furrowed in thought. “What you can do really depends on how much time you have to react. Here, Kyouko, can I show them?”

Kyouko nodded, widening her stance slightly as her brother circled around her. “The best thing to aim for is the stomach. Maybe the groin, if you’re short enough, but the stomach is the best bet.” As Tsuna and Gokudera watched, Ryouhei raised a hand and grabbed the back of Kyouko’s neck. Quick as a flash, she hunched over slightly and jammed an elbow back into her brother’s stomach.

“This will knock the breath out of them,” Ryouhei explained through panting breaths as Kyouko wriggled out of his grasp and rounded on him. “They probably won’t let go completely, but their grip will _definitely_ loosen and give you time to get free.”

Tsuna stared at Kyouko, wide-eyed. It certainly looked like Ryouhei had grabbed her hard enough to trigger her innate submissive tendencies. But she’d made getting free look effortless.

“And if they come after you again?” asked Gokudera. His stare was intense as he watched the siblings, nerves apparently forgotten. “What then?”

Ryouhei grinned with just a hint of underlying savagery. “You don’t give them the chance.”

“Strike up with an open palm,” Kyouko instructed. “Step forward and really put your weight into it.” She demonstrated on Ryouhei again, though she moved slowly, probably both so they could see and that Ryouhei wouldn’t end the afternoon lying prostrate on the dojo floor. The very bottom of her palm hit Ryouhei on the chin, and he leaned back, following through with her movements. “Try to get their chin with the very bottom of your palm. There’s a lot of muscle there, so you’re less likely to break anything.”

“Hopefully they’ll bite their tongue off,” Ryouhei laughed, ignoring Kyouko’s exasperated huff of his name. “But they’ll probably just be stunned, or even go down completely. Either way, you’ll have time to escape and find help.”

“Wow,” Tsuna breathed, replaying the demonstration over in his head. “That would even work on alphas?”

“Yeah, sure! Kyouko practiced on our dad back when we were little, and he went down like a sack of bricks. Although,” Ryouhei tapped his chin thoughtfully, “that was probably because Kyouko was small enough to get him right in the balls.”

Gokudera snorted while Kyouko slapped a hand over her face. “Why do you always have to bring that up?”

“Because it was hilarious!”

“Why did you learn all this, if you don’t mind my asking?” Tsuna inquired. “Kyouko said you went to classes with her? Did you really take omega self-defense classes as an alpha?”

Ryouhei blinked over at Tsuna a few times before bursting into laughter. “Oh, man, no way. I’m a beta.”

“Oh,” Tsuna said, feeling particularly embarrassed. Ever since his sense of smell reached its peak development, he almost never misgendered people. Usually, it wasn’t difficult to tell, just based on scent and appearance. Despite sharing a similar base, there was an underlying omegan quality to Kyouko’s scent, whereas Ryouhei’s was almost… ambiguous.

“You aren’t really far off the mark, though,” Ryouhei said. “I’m a beta, but I produce both BT and AT. So, it kinda muddies things a little.”

Tsuna paused. “That’s… possible?”

“Yeah, it’s super rare, though,” Ryouhei said. “Like, physically, I’m a beta. But chemically… I don’t know, it’s a little over my head.” The boy laughed, glancing at Kyouko. “You explain it better.”

“He just produces both alpha and beta testosterone,” Kyouko explained. “So, he’s always been a little bigger and had more energy than a typical beta. ”

Ryouhei bobbed his head eagerly. “Yeah, yeah, lots of aggression I have to work out, too. It’s why I took up boxing, ‘cause I would _definitely_ lose a fight against a real alpha.”

It made sense to Tsuna. Now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure he’d heard about this before, somewhere, although his understanding of it was fuzzy at best. Alphas, betas, and omegas produced different hormones – everyone knew that. The difficult part came in understanding the nuances between them.

Tsuna produced omega testosterone, which was more similar to the various forms of estrogen than either alpha or beta testosterone. But that’s where his knowledge of the subject ended. How someone like Ryouhei was born with the ability to produce two different second-gender hormones was beyond his understanding.

“To answer your question, though,” Ryouhei continued, “I hated the idea of anyone taking advantage of my sister. Dad wanted to sign her up for self-defense classes, but Mom was kinda nervous about letting Kyouko do it. So, I started first to ease the way a little. It all worked out, though, and now Kyouko’s a badass.”

“I’m really not,” Kyouko insisted, though Tsuna disagreed one-hundred percent. “I don’t like all that fighting stuff, I only do what I need to.”

“And that’s why you’re a badass,” Ryouhei said, hands on his hips; stubborn, like an impenetrable fortress. “You use your powers for good.”

“Like Tsuna,” Gokudera murmured, smirking when Tsuna glared at him.

“You guys gonna practice?” Ryouhei asked. “Not here, not yet!” he exclaimed, waving his hands at Tsuna’s and Gokudera’s wide-eyed looks. “You should definitely try it with someone you’re close to who doesn’t mind getting a little beat up while you learn.”

An image of Yamamoto flashed in Tsuna’s mind, though he shoved it down quickly. “We’ll find someone,” he said. “I think we can do it on our own, what you showed us was really simple.”

“Okay, cool!”

“Um, would it be okay if we came back sometime?” Tsuna asked, rubbing at his arm. “I mean, I’m not the most athletic, but I really do think this kind of thing would be helpful – “

“Dude, of course!” Ryouhei exclaimed, lurching forward like he was going to descend on Tsuna before rocking back with a sheepish grin. “It’s just me here, most days, since the kendo and judo clubs moved to the new building. You can come with Kyouko, or just on your own, I don’t mind!”

Kyouko was smiling as she looked between them, her expression some mix of relief and pride that made Tsuna want to preen. “This will be really good for all of you,” she said. “I’ll come by as often as I can, but I’m with Hana-chan a lot after school.”

“Oh, we’ll be fine, right, Sawada? Gokudera?” Ryouhei seemed eager as he looked between them, the look in his eyes reminiscent of how Kyouko had been earlier when she asked them to come. As much as Ryouhei was… thunderous, Tsuna could tell the beta wasn’t someone he and Gokudera needed to fear.

There was an openness about him that Tsuna couldn’t help but like. And something about the image of him here, alone in this large dojo day by day, made Tsuna think that maybe, just maybe, they would _all_ be benefitting from the situation.

“Yeah. We’ll be just fine.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Descriptions of child abuse

Tsuna and Gokudera didn’t stay much longer before heading home, although Ryouhei made them promise to come back the next day, as well as the day after that. Gokudera seemed more willing to go along with it after seeing how Kyouko had so effortlessly taken the advantage from her brother. Tsuna was just relieved to have something new to occupy his time, so that he didn’t spend every waking hour agonizing over his row with Yamamoto.

“Just wait until the next time someone tries to get the drop on us,” Gokudera said, punching at the air and some invisible foe like an over-active child. Tsuna couldn’t help but laugh. “We’ll show them. _Oh,_ you think this will work on Hibari?”

“Oh my god, don’t even _say_ that,” exclaimed Tsuna. “He’s in a completely different league, we’d never be able to turn the tables on him.”

“You never know! No alpha is immune to an elbow to the dick.”

“Please, stop,” Tsuna groaned. They were walking down their street, now, the front gate of the Sawada house in sight. Tsuna hoped Nana had an afternoon snack set out for them. “Hibari-san wouldn’t do something like that, anyway. He might be scary, but… I don’t know, he doesn’t seem – “

The front door burst open just as the two omegas passed through the gate, and Tsuna froze up at the sight of an unfamiliar form stomping down from the porch landing. It was a female alpha with long, pink hair – recently dyed from the scent of chemicals that drifted Tsuna’s way – dressed in black jeans and a dark leather jacket.

The sight of her was jarring; but not as much as the sour stench of Gokudera’s terror, immediate and consuming, far removed from the joking person he'd been on the walk home. It emanated like a suffocating cloud, reminding Tsuna of his first confrontation with Hibari. It threatened to take hold of Tsuna, drag him under, drown him utterly and completely.

Tsuna was no stranger to fear, having lived with it inside him for so long. But this… this was something different, something infinitely more unsettling.

“You can’t keep him from me,” the woman snarled, yelling back into the house. “I’ll ruin you, I swear we’ll – “

She stopped. Tsuna imagined Gokudera’s scent had reached her, and he couldn’t help but echo Gokudera’s terrified whimper as she turned her furious eyes to them. “Hayato!” she exclaimed. “Hayato, get over here, get your shit, we’re going home.”

Gokudera lurched forward, reacting to the sound of her harsh command. He took a step toward her, then another, whimpering the whole time; the reality of what he was seeing washed over Tsuna like a wave, giving him a single ounce of clarity amidst the bizarre, second-hand fear he was experiencing.

 _Danger,_ his instincts screeched. _Danger, danger, run, SUBMIT –_

“Stop, stop, Gokudera-kun!” Tsuna cried, stumbling forward on unsteady legs. “You don’t have to – “

But Gokudera had already halted at the sound of Tsuna’s voice. He was breathing heavily, fists clenched at his sides. Ever so slowly, he took a step back toward Tsuna.

The woman’s mouth went slack.

“Get back in the house, Bianchi.” Tsuna almost cried with relief as Reborn appeared in the doorway, tall and imposing in his black slacks and white dress shirt, rolled up at the sleeves. His eyes roamed over Tsuna and Gokudera before fixing on the woman – Bianchi – as she swung around to face him. “You’re causing a scene.”

“You _kidnapped_ my brother, you rogue son of a – “

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Reborn interjected with a low growl. Despite the distance placed between them, the sound wracked Tsuna’s bones. A different sense of fear rose inside him, one that was entirely his own. “Get your ass inside before I _make you.”_

Bianchi snarled again, and for a second, Tsuna thought there would be a dominance fight in his front yard. But after a few tense moments, Bianchi huffed and hurried back into the house, keeping her head down as she sidled past Reborn, still consuming most of the doorframe.

Reborn made sure she was inside before turning his attention back to the boys. Tsuna forced himself not to flinch. “It’s okay, boys,” he said, sounding once more like the lazily confident person Tsuna had known his whole life. “She’s not going to hurt you, I promise.”

Tsuna took a deep breath and moved up cautiously behind Gokudera, whose own breathing was still loud and laborious. “C’mon, Gokudera-kun,” he whispered, gently taking hold of one of Gokudera’s fists. “Let’s go inside.”

Gokudera hesitated but ultimately jerked himself away from Tsuna, darting across the yard and into the house faster than Tsuna could follow. He was racing up the stairs when Tsuna got to the front door, ignoring Tsuna’s call of his name.

The sound of a door slamming shut reverberated throughout the house. Gokudera hadn’t even taken his shoes off.

“Leave this to me,” Reborn said, patting Tsuna’s shoulder before moving toward the living room, where Tsuna could hear Nana’s soft voice. “She won’t be here for much longer.”

Tsuna watched him go wordlessly. Left alone with the rapid beat of his own heart, he stared up the steps. Tsuna desperately wanted to know what was going on, but his self-preservation instincts kept him from taking a step after Reborn. Even more importantly, Gokudera needed someone, and Tsuna wasn’t going to just ignore that.

No one called after Tsuna as he toed off his shoes and started up the steps, so he put his focus on following Gokudera’s trail. He moved toward the spare room where Gokudera slept now that Reborn and Tsuna had cleared it out. But he hesitated at the closed door, sniffing a few times and glancing down at his feet.

Gokudera’s scent there was stale, a mere remnant from the morning. Tsuna backtracked, following the fresher trail the other omega had just left. It lead to Tsuna’s own bedroom, where the door was firmly shut despite Tsuna having left it open when he left that morning.

He knocked despite himself. “Gokudera-kun?” When he didn’t get a response, Tsuna opened the door and stepped into his room, closing it softly behind him. The room was completely dark, save for the bit of light peaking through the closed window shudders. Tsuna’s bed was still unmade, and the pile of his pajamas was near his desk.

Tsuna glanced around. The closet door was slightly ajar, and he creeped toward it, keeping his footsteps slow but not entirely quiet. He wanted Gokudera to hear him approaching. Gokudera was curled up in the back corner, face buried in the protective curve of his arms and legs. Tsuna gazed upon him for a moment before crouching down and crawling into the space as well, settling down beside Gokudera so that they weren’t touching.

“Are you okay?” asked Tsuna. He could barely see Gokudera in the gloom, but his eyes were starting to adjust. The other omega was shaking. “Reborn said she’d be leaving soon.”

Gokudera barked out a laugh, much to Tsuna’s surprise. “Yeah, right,” he croaked, voice muffled. “Bianchi doesn’t listen to anyone, she – “

“She listened to Reborn,” Tsuna interrupted softly. She obviously hadn’t wanted to go when Reborn ordered her back into the house. But still; she’d gone. “He’ll take care of it. I – I don’t know how, exactly, but he will.”

Gokudera sniffed, a loud inhale garbled by what was likely a combination of tears and snot. “I didn’t think… I thought they wouldn’t come after me.”

“They? You mean your family?” Tsuna was almost hesitant to ask. Things had been strange ever since Reborn came with Gokudera in tow, and they only kept getting stranger. Tsuna didn’t think Reborn had actually kidnapped Gokudera like Bianchi was claiming, but the situation was obviously a lot more complicated than Tsuna was led to believe. “Didn’t they know Reborn was bringing you here?”

“I don’t know,” Gokudera admitted, “and I don’t really care. He got Alpha’s permission to bring me here. Nothing else mattered after that.”

 _Alpha,_ Tsuna mouthed to himself. The way Gokudera said it was like a name; a title, not a second-gender distinction. “This… ‘Alpha’ person,” Tsuna began, “they said you could come here? Without even asking your parents?”

“They didn’t want me,” Gokudera snapped, jerking his head up and fixing Tsuna with a furious glare. He softened a little when Tsuna shrank back, hurt stinging his chest. Gokudera turned away, but he didn’t hide his face again, just stared blankly out into the open dark of Tsuna’s bedroom. “They don’t care where I go, not anymore.”

Tsuna said nothing. This was more than he’d gotten out of Gokudera since the night Tsuna confessed his desire to be friends. If Gokudera felt compelled to share now, Tsuna wouldn’t stop him. He had a suspicion that Bianchi was the sister Gokudera had mentioned before, considering how young she looked. She’d obviously come to take him home, but Tsuna was hesitant to say her intentions were good, what with how Gokudera had reacted to her.

“Bianchi is my older half-sister,” Gokudera said eventually. “We have the same father. Her mother is his official Bonded mate, and I’m the bastard son of his... mistress. That would be your word for it, I guess.”

“Why wouldn’t he just… bond with your mom, too?” Tsuna asked, unable to help himself. Plural bondings were far from unheard of, though they weren’t as popular as they used to be. It really just depended on the individuals involved.

“Maybe Father would’ve. I’ll never know. My dame was a male omega like us. He left a few days after I was born, and no one’s heard from him since.” Tsuna bit the inside of his cheek, torn apart by the pain he heard in Gokudera’s voice, a longing for a parental figure he’d never known. “I don’t even blame him. I would’ve left, too, if I were him.”

“Is it that bad over there? For male omegas?”

Gokudera shook his head. “I think… my Pack is different, compared to the others. Have you heard – No one’s told you about the Vongola, have they?”

Tsuna frowned, wracking his brain to see if anything about the name felt familiar. “No, I don’t think so.”

“That’s the Pack I’m from,” Gokudera said. He didn’t sound particularly fond. “Mine is just one of hundreds of smaller family units that answer to our Head Alpha, Timoteo.”

“ _Hundreds?_ ” Tsuna choked out. “That’s – How is that even possible?”

“The Vongola have been one of the largest Packs in Italy for centuries. There are others besides us, but we’re the most powerful and influential. Father has a big head about it.” Gokudera scoffed, dragging an arm across his face. “He isn’t even in Alpha’s inner circle.”

Tsuna couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Packs as he knew them were smaller and more intimate than what Gokudera was describing, comprised of blood relatives and even close friends on occasion. That there was an alpha out there powerful enough to control _hundreds_ of smaller Packs, an alpha that wasn’t even the leader of the country… well, the idea alone was terrifying.

“I didn’t leave our territory much, growing up,” Gokudera continued. “I barely left the house either, but even then, I wasn’t supposed to be seen or heard unless Father said. If I broke that rule…” Gokudera trailed off, voice pinched like he might start to cry again. “If I broke it – “

“You don’t have to tell me,” Tsuna interjected in a hush, when the scent of salt was starting to strengthen again. “I meant it when I told you to take as long as you needed.”

Gokudera took a shuddering breath, shaking his head. “No, I – I _want_ to tell you, just… just give me a minute.”

Tsuna nodded, leaning his head back against the wall. A minute turned to two, two to ten, ten to twenty. They sat together in silence as the minutes ticked by, stimulated only by their own breathing and the faint sound of voices that permeated the walls.

“Father… his word was law,” Gokudera started again, voice nearly a whisper. “I was to listen to him above all others, and if he wasn’t around, Bianchi was in charge. She’s the Alpha Heir Apparent of our father’s territory, so she’ll take over his region someday. Part of her upbringing was learning how to… deal with me. Because I was expected to stay within the family until I was Mated off.”

Just like whenever he thought about Yamamoto’s brush with death, Tsuna felt like throwing up. He had an idea of where this was going, a hunch that he’d had since figuring out Gokudera seemed hard-wired to obey orders.

Tsuna wasn’t sure what would be worse: wondering forever or actually having his fears confirmed.

“It started small. They’d grab me by the nape if I disobeyed or talked out of turn. But then once, when I was seven, I didn’t present my neck when a neighboring alpha came to visit the estate. She was very kind and even smiled at me, so I didn’t think I needed to. But Father was _furious,_ and as soon as she left, he slapped me and said it would be troublesome for him if I didn’t learn my place.”

Gokudera curled in on himself even further while Tsuna looked on, feeling helpless. “After that, if I did something wrong, my punishments started changing. Elena would smack me. Father would lock me in my room or tell the servants not to feed me. When Bianchi was older, she started playing a larger role in it, too. We weren’t very close before that, anyway, but it just got worse over time.”

Tsuna imagined the woman downstairs striking Gokudera, berating him, never sticking up for him or challenging their father’s treatment of him. Why did she come? Why couldn’t she have just let Gokudera go without a fight?

“The day Father snapped… I don’t really know what happened,” Gokudera admitted. “All I knew was that they were in negotiations to have me Mated to someone more prominent than either him or Bianchi. But the deal went bad, and Father – He got home that day and just… _descended_ on me. I couldn’t react, I – I just froze up. And it _hurt,_ Tsuna, I – “

Gokudera gave a hiccupping sob, and Tsuna gave into his urges and scooted over, leaning into Gokudera’s side. The other omega didn’t push him away like he had outside. He slumped over, resting his weight against Tsuna and pressing their heads together. “I’d never been in so much pain before,” Gokudera whimpered. “And Elena just left the room, and the servants were gone, and Bianchi wasn’t there. I really thought… I thought Father was going to – “

“Don’t,” Tsuna choked out. “He didn’t. You’re _not_.”

“I woke up in the hospital,” Gokudera said. “I couldn’t move for days, the nurses had to do everything for me. They kept telling me everything was going to be okay, but I just sat there, everyday, waiting for Father or Bianchi to come and take me back. But,” Gokudera took a deep breath, “they never did, and I stayed there until I was completely better. I thought I’d been abandoned, and – I wasn’t sure if that was worse than staying in that house, or worse than dying.

“They released me after about two months. I didn’t know where I was going to go, or what I would do, but when I stepped outside… Reborn was there.” The sound of the alpha’s name was like a slap in the face to Tsuna, reminding him that this was real and not some awful nightmare. “He said he’d spoken to Alpha, and that he would take me somewhere safe if I didn’t want to go home. And he promised no one would ever lay a hand on me again if I _did_ choose to go home.”

Gokudera laughed, then, a barking, wet sound that shook both of their bodies. “I really didn’t know what else to do, so I went with him. I doubted any place could be as safe as he said, but… I understand what he was trying to tell me, now.”

“Gokudera-kun… ” Tsuna trailed off, at a loss for words. This was… crazy. Worse than he’d imagined. Physical abuse seemed to be the likely culprit before, but the amount of control Gokudera was describing, the lack of agency he’d had in his own life so far… Tsuna hadn’t heard of anything like it before.

Was that really what Italy was like? _That_ was where Reborn and Iemitsu chose to be?

“I thought things would be okay,” Gokudera began again with a hint of hysteria. Tsuna pressed ever closer. “I thought – But Bianchi’s here, she’s going to take me back – “

“She won’t,” Tsuna swore. “We won’t let her. This isn’t Naples, she doesn’t have any power here.”

“ _No_.” Gokudera shook his head, dipping his head back down into the shelter of his arms and legs. “No, you just don’t understand. There’s no way you could.”

Tsuna couldn’t argue with that, despite the twinge of hurt he felt. No, Tsuna didn’t understand, but he wanted to. He’d been trying. But Gokudera was hurt and weary, and Reborn wasn’t forthcoming about… _anything._ This was way out of No Good Tsuna’s depth. There was nothing he could do for Gokudera. And Gokudera agreed; he’d just said as much.

So, why bring him here? What made Nana and Tsuna’s home so special?

But it didn’t really matter. At the end of the day, Tsuna knew what his limitations were. All he could do was listen. And maybe that was all Gokudera needed.

He stayed in the closet with Gokudera until the dappled light in the room faded out with the setting sun.

***

Eventually, Tsuna resurfaced. Gokudera refused to move until he knew Bianchi was gone, and despite the silence in the house, no one had come to get them.

Tsuna wobbled out of his bedroom on stiff, tingling legs, stretching out his sore body as he carefully made his way down the stairs. Bianchi’s scent lingered in the air, weaving a story of destructive anger that left Tsuna uneasy. But as far as he could tell, the woman was no longer in the house.

He found Reborn and Nana in the living room, both seated close together on the couch. The television was off. Nana was worrying at her apron, balled up in her lap. Reborn was slouched forward, chin resting on his threaded fingers.

Nana noticed him first. “Tsu-kun,” she greeted him with a smile. Tsuna knew his mother well enough to tell that she was exhausted. Her emotions and scent were all over the place – _doubt anger fear love –_ both completely out of her control. “How’s Hayato-kun?”

“He’s in my room,” Tsuna said, glancing between the two of them. Reborn didn’t look at him. “He wouldn’t come out until I checked if Bianchi was still here.”

“She left a while ago. I’m so sorry, Tsu-kun, I guess I just… lost track of time and forgot to get you boys.” Nana seemed to collect herself, taking a deep breath before getting to her feet. “I know it’s late, but I’ll get dinner started.”

Tsuna watched her hurry off to the kitchen, leaving a trail of anxiety in her wake. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that he wasn’t hungry, or that he doubted Gokudera had an appetite either. He knew she needed to keep busy.

Reborn was still staring straight ahead when Tsuna turned back to him, eyes dark and narrowed, deep in thought. For a moment, Tsuna imagined giving voice to all his questions. He wanted Reborn to know that he was aware of Gokudera’s family situation and the Vongola, wanted to tell him that he was frustrated by all the secrecy.

 _Please,_ Tsuna wanted to beg. _For once, just tell me._

“Tsuna.” The omega jumped slightly. Reborn was looking at him now, face entirely smoothed out. But Tsuna saw a shadow of a ghost there, something dark and unsettling, a remnant of the person who’d dominated Bianchi with barely a word, the person who was apparently on close terms with the Head Alpha of Italy’s most influential Pack. Who was Reborn, really? Tsuna didn’t think he knew anymore. “You okay? You look pale.”

“I’m tired,” Tsuna said. He didn't bother waiting for a response before turning and fleeing up the stairs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so so so much for your wonderful comments while I was gone! I've been hibernating since spring break started, but I'm back and ready for action. 
> 
> The next chapter will be the last for this part!

Tsuna woke up before dawn the next morning, sweating under the sheets. He blinked blearily into the dark, wondering when it had gotten so hot, when he realized the bed dipped with an added weight beside him. Gokudera had refused to leave Tsuna’s room the night before, so Tsuna had set up the spare futon again before turning in. But Gokudera must have migrated to Tsuna’s bed during the night, which seemed to explain the added warmth. But only just.

There was still something wrong. Even though he was half asleep, Tsuna could tell. He scooted forward on the bed, being mindful not to wake Gokudera, and gingerly pressed their foreheads together. Despite Tsuna’s efforts, Gokudera twitched, eyes blinking open with an almost alarming lethargy. “Tsuna?” he mumbled. “What is it?”

“You’re burning up,” Tsuna whispered back. “I think you’re sick, are you – “ It hit Tsuna then, a slightly sweet smell that wafted up from the open spaces between the sheets and the bed. “ _Oh._ ”

Nana confirmed Tsuna’s suspicions when she came to check on Gokudera. She’d shot up in bed when Tsuna went to wake her, tugging on her blue bathrobe and following her son back to his bedroom. “It must be a stress heat,” Nana murmured, perched on the edge of the bed as she brushed Gokudera’s hair off his sweaty forehead. “You poor thing, yesterday must’ve been too much for you.”

“M’not due for another month,” Gokudera grumbled, almost to himself. His cheeks and the bridge of his nose were starting to turn a noticeable red, and even though he was talking to them and seemed somewhat alert, his eyes were glazed, his words slurred. Tsuna whined his sympathy, knowing exactly how Gokudera was feeling.

“Do you want us to help you to your room?” Nana asked. “Would you feel better there?”

Gokudera seemed to hesitate, drawing the sheets up closer to his nose. Tsuna saw this and immediately turned toward his closet, standing up on his tiptoes to drag his heat blankets down from the top shelf. “It’s fine, he should just stay here,” he walked back to the bed, grabbing one of the blankets and shaking it out after setting the pile down on the foot of his bed. “The bed in his room doesn’t have slick pad or anything. This’ll just be easier.”

“Oh, that completely slipped my mind!” exclaimed Nana. “I’m sorry, Hayato-kun, I’ll take care of that as soon as I can.”

Gokudera said nothing, just watched with half-lidded eyes as Tsuna spread the blankets over him.

It didn’t hit Tsuna until much later, when he’d settled into his desk and was listening to the quiet chatter of his classmates. Gokudera was going to be gone for the two or three days it took his body to flush out the stress that triggered his faux heat, and no one, aside from Kyouko, had seen or heard from Yamamoto in two days.

Kyouko paid an acute sort of attention to him the entire day, as if sensing Tsuna’s discomfort, but it did little to ease it. Being alone was nothing new to Tsuna. It had become the norm for him long ago, and he’d never really stopped to lament his circumstances.

But now it just felt… empty.

***

The next few days passed in a similar manner. Yamamoto’s and Gokudera’s desks remained empty, and Tsuna felt their absence like a festering wound. He kept it at bay by spending his afternoons with Ryouhei, trying to keep up with the beta’s fast talking and take in what he was being taught.

Sometimes Kyouko joined them, but mostly she walked home with Hana. The two of them would pop in to say goodbye before they left. Tsuna still didn’t know how to talk or act around Hana, who often looked at him like a bug in her path. Although, she looked at everyone like that, even Ryouhei and Gokudera, who she barely knew, so it probably had nothing to do with Tsuna.

Even with Gokudera incapacitated, Tsuna took in everything Ryouhei was telling him. One other move Ryouhei thought Tsuna could easily pull off was just a wrist grab, where Tsuna could grab the offender and bend his arm into an angle awkward enough to hold off the attack. The entire move largely depended on Tsuna being able to predict the attack before it happen, though. He’d practiced it a few times on Ryouhei, listening to the other’s movements with his back turned, trying to gauge when he was close enough to grab.

Ryouhei never tried to practice the first move he taught them with Tsuna. He was adamant that Tsuna practice with someone he knew well and trusted. Even so, he emphasized certain aspects of it, like to go for jaw as Kyouko had done, though he also suggested the eyes, throat, groin, or knees.

But even before all the physical stuff, Ryouhei told Tsuna that the best thing to do was to get loud, to draw as much attention as possible and make himself an inconvenient target. Tsuna tried to imagine screaming the next time a classmate tried to grab him, by the neck or otherwise, and couldn’t imagine drawing attention to himself like that. Even so, he was grateful for the advice.

The third day of Yamamoto’s and Gokudera’s absences, Tsuna was doing warm-up stretches on the dojo floor when Ryouhei plopped down in front of him with a decisive air.

“You know, Sawada,” Ryouhei blurted out as Tsuna was leaning forward in a stretch. “I think you’re really cool.”

Tsuna, startled, sucked in a breath so quickly he choked on it. Ryouhei made an aborted move toward him but seemed to think better of it, just hovering with a pinched look on his face as Tsuna recovered. “Um, thanks?” Tsuna croaked out. “I don’t really know what to say?”

“You don’t have to say anything! I just wanted you to know.” Ryouhei frowned, leaning forward with his hands on his ankles. “I’m not good with talking to people, not like my sister. I’ve learned I’ve gotta be super direct if I want people to understand me.”

“That’s… a good way to go about it,” Tsuna said. And he meant every word, even if he was still floored by Ryouhei’s declaration, wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. “I wish I could be like that.”

Ryouhei shook his head. “Nah, you’re fine. You’ve got so much, like, _energy_ , you know? It’s hard to explain. I look at you working so hard at everything and think, ‘Man, I have a long way to go.’”

“It’s not – I’m just doing what you tell me?”

“But do you know how _awesome_ that is?” Ryouhei asked, eyes bright as he leaned forward, peering at Tsuna. “You want to get better, and you’re doing something about it! Someone pushed you around and you said, ‘No, fuck that.’ That’s really hard, Sawada. It’s easy to just take things as they are.”

“I guess… “

“Can I tell you something?” Ryouhei asked, waiting patiently as Tsuna built up the courage to nod, wondering where the beta was going to go with this. “It took a really long time to figure out my gender thing. I had so much… _anger_ in me, you know? It was like my skin itched all the time, and for a long time, nothing I did made it any better.

“But then I started fighting,” Ryouhei continued, and even if he sounded ashamed, small, there was something bright and alive squirming in his eyes. “All the alpha kids in our year would try to push me around, and I’d push them right back. They stopped messing with me eventually, so I’d start trying to instigate fights. Kyouko and I had to move schools all the time, it was pretty bad.”

“That must’ve been hard for you both,” Tsuna said before he could help himself. He felt badly for interrupting, but Ryouhei only nodded.

“Oh, it was the worst. Kyouko’s always hated violence, and I know she hated seeing me like that. But… I don’t know, the AT made me kind of crazy. I just wanted the itching to stop, and I didn’t care how I did it.” Ryouhei sighed then, rubbing at the back of his head almost nervously. “It got really out of hand. A small pack of alphas from another school came around a few years back. They thought hurting Kyouko would be the best way to get back at me for all the trouble I’d caused, but seeing them go for her just… made me go _wild._

“That’s when I got this.” Ryouhei gestured to the pale scar above his eyebrow. “The other guys had it much worse. I think a few of them ended up in the hospital. I realized afterward that I couldn’t keep living like I was. I’d learned all that self-defense stuff to help protect Kyouko, but all I did with it was put her in danger.”

Tsuna watched, transfixed, as the jovial beta he’d only just come to know, for a brief moment, gave way to someone else. His eyes were dark, fixed on something Tsuna couldn’t see, grip so tight on his own ankles the skin was starting to redden.

In that moment, he could easily see Ryouhei going for other alpha children until his knuckles were bloody. But for some reason, Tsuna wasn’t afraid.

“You changed, though,” Tsuna said. Ryouhei blinked at the sound of his voice, and when he looked up, his eyes looked less haunted. “We wouldn’t be sitting here if you hadn't. Something bad happened and you… you thought, ‘Fuck this,’ and did something about it, like you said before.”

Ryouhei’s mouth popped open, though he was only stunned silent for a brief moment before he tossed his head back and burst into laughter. “Pfft, that’s like watching Kyouko curse. Oh, god, I hate it, I hate it so much.”

Tsuna couldn’t help but snort, ducking his head. “It’s not like we’re _babies_.”

“You _are,_ and that’s okay. You’re both adorable, please stay that way.”

“We’re the same age!”

Ryouhei shrugged. “You’re never too old to be cute.” Which… okay, Tsuna couldn’t exactly argue. He agreed where Kyouko was concerned, but in regards to himself… “But all this to say, Sawada, I’m really impressed by how you’ve handled everything that happened with Suzuki. I know what can happen when you get aggressive about things, so the fact that you stood up to him despite the circumstances is really cool.”

Tsuna made a vaguely affirming noise. Maybe Ryouhei would think differently if he knew about how Tsuna had tried to hide what happened from Yamamoto. “Do you still feel like you did before?” Tsuna asked, somehow knowing that the beta wouldn’t call him out on his extremely obvious attempt to change the subject. “You know, with the itching?”

“Mm, sorta,” Ryouhei admitted. “It’s not nearly as bad now that I know how to channel my energy better. It was just hard, presenting as a beta and getting all the beta lessons when I should’ve been getting both.”

“Do you have to take medicine for it?”

“I don’t, but I think you can. My AT and BT levels are pretty balanced, so I don’t feel one particular way over the other. And I kinda like that?” Ryouhei pursed his lips. “I don’t know, it’s weird. Even now, I sometimes get the feeling that something isn’t right. Like when my alpha classmates talk about their ruts, and I know I’ll never experience one. It bothers me a little, but not enough to take hormone injections or anything.”

Tsuna never would’ve guessed that Ryouhei was living with something so complicated. It was hard to wrap his head around, not feeling any certain way even while knowing _something_ was off.

Tsuna thought Ryouhei was selling himself short. If anything, _he_ was the cool one.

“Ah, man, I hate going off on tangents like that,” Ryouhei sighed, scrubbing a hand through his pale blond hair. “I hate being such a downer.”

“You aren’t! It was nice, learning about you. I’m really, _really_ glad you felt comfortable enough to share all that with me. Um… ” Tsuna floundered, struggling for words. “I think you’re really cool, too.”

Ryouhei perked up, almost preening under the attention, a ghost of something that most would call a typical alpha behavior. “Really? Make sure to tell Kyouko that, she won’t believe me if I tell her myself.”

Tsuna laughed. “Okay, I will.”

“Do you have a phone? You should give me your number,” Ryouhei said conversationally, proving yet again that he just _did not worry_ about the things he said in the way Tsuna did. “I wanna hang out with you outside of school and do, like, friend stuff. Is that weird?”

“No,” Tsuna replied. Maybe, once, he would’ve made some excuse, avoided the situation with all the skill accumulated over years of practice. But it didn’t even cross his mind. “It’s not weird at all.”

***

Nana and Reborn were nowhere to be found when Tsuna got home from school that day. He kicked off his shoes and made for his bedroom, itching to check on Gokudera, who should’ve been nearing the end of his faux heat.

The other omega was sitting up in Tsuna’s bed, leafing through their math textbook with a bored expression. “Tsuna!” he exclaimed when Tsuna came in. “Please tell me our math test was today.”

“It was, you missed it,” Tsuna said, laughing when Gokudera pumped a fist in the air and threw the textbook to the foot of the bed. “Lucky you, you have more time to study.”

“I probably won’t,” Gokudera said. Tsuna felt that in his bones. “How was school today? Anything happen?”

“Not really,” Tsuna said, dropping his backpack on the floor beside his desk. He grabbed his desk chair and dragged it toward the bed, positioning it adjacent to Gokudera before sitting down. “Same old, same old. I fell asleep during English.”

Gokudera regarded him worriedly. “I’m not keeping you awake at night, am I?”

Tsuna shook his head. They’d been sharing Tsuna’s bed since Gokudera’s heat started. In the early stages, Gokudera was hypersensitive to being alone, so the idea of Tsuna sleeping somewhere else wasn’t on the table. Their combined body heat, further elevated by Gokudera’s feverish state, was enough to keep Tsuna awake at night, but not for long enough that he wasn’t getting sleep.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Oh, yeah, where are Mom and Reborn? No one answered when I called.”

“They went to buy some things for my room, I think,” Gokudera said. “Your mom still feels really bad about not thinking of it before.”

Tsuna nodded. He knew how Nana fussed over those things. But it was kind of odd, how Nana was setting things up… almost as if Gokudera was staying for the long term.

“And Yamamoto?” asked Gokudera. “Did he decide to show his face today?”

Tsuna shook his head, rubbing at the back of his neck. “No, he’s still sick or… something. I’m kind of worried. I mean, I know he doesn’t want to see me after what happened, but I don’t want his attendance record to suffer.”

Gokudera blinked once, twice, before his face twisted into some weird combination of a grimace and a scowl. “You two are just… the most _infuriating_ people I’ve ever met.”

Tsuna gaped. “W – What? How come?”

The other omega huffed, legs shifting under the sheets. “You’re so lucky I’m trapped here, otherwise I’d drag you down to his house myself.”

“You mean – Yamamoto-kun’s house? We can’t, _I can’t_ go there!”

“You can, and you are. This has gone on long enough.” Gokudera crossed his arms over his chest, eyebrows furrowed, deep in thought. “Is there an etiquette to visiting other people’s homes here? Probably not, you Japanese aren’t as strict as we are. Still, we need to make you – “

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Tsuna jumped to his feet, waving his arms in front of him. “I’m _not_ going to Yamamoto-kun’s house. What would I even do? What would I say to him? That’s just – No.”

“Do you have to call and make arrangements with his parents? I doubt your mom would mind doing that for you, and Reborn could be your escort… ”

Tsuna sighed. Gokudera was so obviously ignoring him. Tsuna could probably just run off – it wasn’t likely Gokudera could get out of bed just yet, so he couldn’t chase him down – but… did he really want to? This whole thing with Yamamoto didn’t seem like it was going to just end.

“If I went… what would I even say?” Tsuna asked, defeated, sinking back down into his chair. “I’m just – I’m so _embarrassed_ by what happened. I’ve never really been so much of an omega in front of him before. It must’ve been so shocking to Yamamoto-kun.”

That, if nothing else, made Gokudera fall quiet. He regarded Tsuna with a complicated expression. “Do you… hate being an omega?”

Tsuna jerked. “No, not at all! I just… I hate some of the things I just _do_ on instinct. They make me feel – “ _Stupid. No good. Distraction. Bad influence._ “They make me feel weak, I guess.”

Gokudera nodded slowly, pensive, not meeting Tsuna’s eyes. “I understand. I think that if I could go back and be born as something different, I wouldn’t want to be an omega.”

“It’s not all bad,” Tsuna said weakly, even though he was the one who’d started this. “My mom is the best person I know. I want to be an omega like her, if I can.”

“She does the same things you do,” Gokudera said, gaze flashing to Tsuna’s for a brief moment. “I’m sure she’s submitted to someone before. Maybe against her will, maybe not. She’s watchful and careful, and I’m sure she’s nervous in her own way. We all are.”

“But she isn’t – “ Tsuna hesitated. “She wouldn’t have done what I did, with Yamamoto. I blew everything out of proportion. I always just… I always just _submit_ at the first sign of trouble, and I don’t want to.”

“I’ve had to do that for most of my life,” said Gokudera quietly. “I was beaten if I didn’t. Should I be ashamed?”

Tsuna gaped at him. “Wha – No, of course not!”

“Then why are you so hard on yourself? I don’t understand why you dislike yourself so much for doing things you can’t help.” Tsuna made a strangled noise. “Yamamoto didn’t see you that day and think, ‘Oh, Tsuna’s being too much of an omega.’ He saw that his friend was scared because of something he’d done.”

“I’m not scared of Yamamoto-kun,” Tsuna said. The idea alone was absurd. “I’m _not._ ”

Gokudera shook his head. “You didn’t see yourself. I don’t know what was going through your head at that moment, but you responded in fear. The both of us could smell it. If you weren’t reacting to him, then what _were_ you reacting to?”

“I – “ Tsuna struggled to find the words to express how he’d been feeling since he pulled Yamamoto down off the roof. Every smile, every laugh, every kind word or teasing joke; how they made Tsuna feel infinite as well as desperately lonely. “I thought he’d finally see me the way everyone else does… and that he’d reject me. I was scared of losing him.

“Does he know that? I don’t know how things are here,” Gokudera said, hesitant, “but back home, _you_ would be the one who’s been rejecting Yamamoto all this time.”

“ _I’ve_ been rejecting him? What do you mean?”

“Yamamoto is your friend. He’s your – “ Gokudera paused, seemingly searching for words. “He’s your best friend, yes? You trust him above most others?”

“Of course I do!”

“Do you, really? Tsuna, you told him you thought he’d take Suzuki’s side,” Gokudera said, eyes flitting over Tsuna’s face as he waited for him to understand. “You were assaulted by a teammate of his, and you thought he wouldn’t care. You told him so _to his face_.”

The reality of it was slow to dawn, of what Tsuna had said to Yamamoto in his fear. He bit his lip, averting his eyes from Gokudera’s. When put in those terms… Tsuna could see why Yamamoto had run from him. _If_ Gokudera was right. “I don’t know what you see when Yamamoto looks at you,” Gokudera continued, “but I’m starting to understand that it’s very different from what the rest of us see.”

“What do you mean?”

“The first day I was at school, when Iki made that comment about sitting next to you?” Gokudera waited for Tsuna to nod in acknowledgment before continuing. “Yamamoto’s back was to you, so there’s no way you could’ve seen his face, but he was just… so obviously furious about what Iki had said. It kind of scared me, honestly. And I know I haven’t known Yamamoto long, but I’ve never seen him like that.”

Tsuna could only stare, mind blank. The idea of someone getting angry on his behalf was… new. He’d seen it with Nana and Reborn over the years, on the occasions Tsuna came home crying with scuffed knees or a tattered notebook or three, but they were Tsuna’s family. They were supposed to react that way.

But Yamamoto… Yamamoto…

“I do trust him,” Tsuna said, voice wobbling as tears began to build in his eyes. “We’ve known each other for so long, but we weren’t really close until this year. And Kyouko-chan’s always been nice to me, you know, but… but Yamamoto-kun was my first real friend. Everything was so _awful_ for me before we started talking again. He made my life so much better.”

Gokudera smiled, but that just made Tsuna cry harder. He’d been so stupid about everything. “Don’t tell me that,” the other omega said gently. “Tell him.”

 _But do you know how awesome that is?_ Ryouhei had said. _You want to get better, and you’re doing something about it!_ Tsuna nodded, wiping at his eyes furiously. He would do something about this. He’d apologize and tell Yamamoto everything, leaving no more room for any misunderstandings. And things could go back to normal. Hopefully.

“I’ll go now. Can you tell Mom and Reborn where I’ve gone, when they come back?”

“Sure. But maybe wait until after you’ve stopped crying,” Gokudera replied. He reached for the box of tissues on Tsuna’s bedside table and dropped them in Tsuna’s lap. “If you go looking like that, Yamamoto’s going on the warpath, and then where will we be?”


	6. Chapter 6

TakeSushi was a community staple, though Tsuna couldn’t remember the last time he’d been there. Yamamoto Tsuyoshi and his son lived in the homely living area above their bar for many years. Nana said they used to go visit as a family, back when Iemitsu was around more. He loved Yamamoto Tsuyoshi’s sushi, and could talk the man’s ear off for hours. Tsuna used to get bored and sneak off to the backyard with Yamamoto, leaving his dinner unfinished; or so he was often told.

Standing just outside the building, Tsuna felt a vague sense of déjà vu, but no memories were strong enough to take shape. He fiddled with the strings of his hoodie, an orange one Reborn had brought from America a few years back. It was something Tsuna always wore for comfort, but it was doing very little to calm his nerves.

Before he could turn tail and run home, Tsuna slid the door open and stepped inside.

“Welcome!” A voice called from somewhere in the back, probably where the kitchen was. It wasn’t Yamamoto, so it must have been his father. “I’ll be with you in just a moment!”

“I can do this,” Tsuna whispered to himself, listening to the shuffling of someone moving around in the back. “I can, I can totally do this.”

“Well, if it isn’t Tsunayoshi.” Yamamoto Tsuyoshi, as Tsuna remembered him, was a man whose warm voice and kind smile helped offset his imposing figure. He seemed surprised to find Tsuna in his bar, but his aura was overwhelmingly welcoming and positive. “Haven’t seen you since you were up to my waist, kiddo.”

“Hi, Yamamoto-san, it's good to see you,” Tsuna said, bowing slightly. “I came to see Yamamoto-kun. Is he around?”

“He isn’t working today, so he’s out in the dojo,” Tsuyoshi replied, jerking his thumb toward the door at the back of the building. “Maybe you can get him to come inside and take break, 'cause he sure won't listen to me.”

Tsuna nodded, walking along the line of stools along the bar and offering the older beta a small smile. The man returned it, and Tsuna thought the resemblance between father and son was striking.

“Before you head out there, I just,” Tsuyoshi said at length, stopping Tsuna in his tracks. For a moment, Tsuna could almost taste the man’s abrupt sadness, thick and salty in his nose. “I just wanted to thank you. For what you did for Takeshi. For what you've _been doing_ for him.”

Tsuna sucked in a breath. The two of them regarded each other for another moment before Tsuna nodded and continued on his way.

There was a small yard between the diner and the dojo. Tsuna had to shield his eyes for a moment, almost blinded by the light reflected off the green grass. Beds of flowers, which were starting to bloom in the warming weather, lined the dark wooden fences on either side of the property.

Tsuna couldn’t help but smile to himself. He could easily imagine Yamamoto tending to those in his spare time.

He could pick up on Yamamoto’s scent trail, leading up to the dojo’s steps. Tsuna approached cautiously, hating how he was unsure of how he’d be received. Yamamoto had never done anything to make Tsuna think he wouldn’t be welcome, so Tsuna needed to try not to worry unnecessarily.

Yamamoto was already staring, slack-jawed, as the omega toed off his shoes and stepped up into the dojo. He must’ve heard or smelled Tsuna coming.

“Tsuna?” he said, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His arms were extended out in front of him, a long, wooden sword in his hands. Tsuna must have caught him mid swing. “What are – What are you doing here?”

Tsuna fidgeted, eyes darting around the dojo. It looked similar to the one at the school, though this one felt more homely. Traditional paintings adorned the walls, and every corner smelled like Yamamoto and his father. “I didn’t know you did kendo,” Tsuna replied with a wince.

Yamamoto blinked, turned his head back around to stare owlishly at the sword in his hands. “I don’t usually. It’s just… good for baseball, I guess.”

“Do you have time to talk?” Tsuna asked. “I mean, if you’re busy, I can – ”

Yamamoto started, lowering his arms and swinging his body around to fully face Tsuna. He looked a lot like the kids Namimori Middle’s kendo club, though his hakama was dark blue, not black and white. “No, I have time! I always…” Yamamoto trailed off, eyes darting to Tsuna’s before flicking away again nervously. “You should stay. I’ll grab the cushions.”

Tsuna wanted to tell Yamamoto not to bother, but he doubted the beta would listen to him. Instead, he watched as Yamamoto went to the cupboard next to the small shrine, pulling two cushions from it after delicately placing the wooden sword back on its hooks. He hurried back over, handing one cushion off to Tsuna, again without meeting his eyes.

Had things between them ever been this awkward? Tsuna didn’t think so. Even in the beginning, when Tsuna was skittish and weary of Yamamoto’s continued attention, the beta had only ever been laughter and smiles. As the two of them settled down on their knees on their respective cushions, Tsuna desperately hoped that their friendship was fixable.

“So… ” Tsuna hesitated, distracted by the way Yamamoto’s shoulders tensed, as if he were bracing for an impact. “I don’t really… know what to say about what happened. I’m really, _really_ embarrassed by it, and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.” Tsuna dipped his head slightly, staring down at the thread of his jeans. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Tsuna… “ Tsuna glanced up. Yamamoto seemed lost, finally meeting Tsuna’s gaze without immediately looking away. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who scared you.”

Tsuna shook his head. “It was my fault for not telling you about what happened with Suzuki.”

Yamamoto’s expression shuddered, and his fingers twitched atop his legs. The beta took a deep breath, eyes falling shut. “I’ve thought about it a lot. And considering how I reacted… I’m not surprised you didn’t want to tell me.”

“How you… reacted?” Tsuna echoed. “You were just upset that I didn’t tell you, and I don’t blame you!”

Yamamoto opened his eyes again. He seemed almost confused, but even more than that, he almost seemed… wary. “You… haven’t heard about what happened?”

“No?”

Yamamoto laughed nervously, scratching at his cheek. He was back to avoiding Tsuna’s eyes. “Oh. Well, when Hibari-san came with Coach to tell us about what happened, Suzuki was there, practicing with us. When Hibari-san told us what Suzuki did to you, I kinda just… attacked him?”

Tsuna’s mouth worked helplessly. There was so much he wanted to say to that, but nothing would come out.

“I was so mad that he was practicing with us like nothing had happened,” continued Yamamoto. His voice was gravely, like he was trying to withhold a growl. “He had the nerve to just… look me in the eye like always. I didn’t even think about it when I heard, I just went for him. Honestly, I’m surprised I got off with only a week’s suspension.”

“S – Suspended?” Tsuna stuttered. Kyouko had said she was bringing Yamamoto his homework, but now that Tsuna was thinking about it, he’d never seen her collect anything from any of their teachers. “You weren’t actually avoiding me?”

Yamamoto’s brow furrowed, lips pulled in a tight line. “No, not… well, not in that way. I guess I was a little scared to come and see you. I wanted to apologize so bad, but I just… I don’t know. I was scared, too.”

Tsuna believed it. He could see just how afraid Yamamoto was and had been. He didn’t even seem like himself, face pale and shadowed, not straightened up to his full height. It made Tsuna’s chest ache, seeing his friend like that.

“I don’t blame you, for being afraid,” Yamamoto said quietly. “I scared myself that day. I broke Suzuki’s nose, and I don’t even regret it. If it weren’t for Hibari-san, I probably would’ve been ostracized by the team.”

Tsuna wasn’t sure what to make of that. “What did Hibari-san do?”

“He said… ” Yamamoto hesitated, took a deep breath before continuing. “He said that you were part of my pack, and that I couldn’t be blamed for reacting that way. But he still said violence wasn’t allowed at school, so he suspended me, even if it was for less time than I probably deserved.”

Tsuna couldn’t think. Pack. Pack? He and Yamamoto?

“I mean, he was wrong,” Yamamoto said at Tsuna’s silence. “If anything, I’m part of yours. But still, everyone on the team seemed to understand where I was coming from after that. I haven’t heard from anyone since, but I don’t think what happened will cause problems when I come back.”

“We’re pack,” Tsuna said, faintly. “We’re pack?”

Yamamoto winced, though he said nothing. His scent was damp with misery and anxiety, so acute it stirred something deep and animalistic in Tsuna. Yamamoto didn’t deserve that, he’d done nothing wrong, he was only protecting Tsuna –

Tsuna registered Yamamoto’s sharp intake of breath before the vibrations of his own throat. He was _purring,_ something similar to an alpha’s croon, meant to soothe _._ Even when Tsuna realized it, the low, muffled rumbling didn’t stop. He was reacting on instinct to the pain of someone close to him.

That had never happened before.

The effect it had on Yamamoto, once the shock passed, was immediate. The stiffness to his shoulders melted away, his scent wavering and stabilizing into something more content. Tsuna had only ever seen Yamamoto react like that once before, when he’d scented Tsuna at school.

“I need to apologize to you,” said Tsuna, after Yamamoto was suitably calmed and he’d cleared his throat. “I’ve never – I haven’t been taking you seriously. I always thought you’d get bored, or… realize that I’m not really the best person to be friends with.”

Yamamoto made a small, wounded sound. “You’re enough, Tsuna. You’ve always been enough.”

Tsuna squirmed, shifting on his folded knees, trying to ignore how light-headed Yamamoto’s words made him. He couldn’t get distracted. “I didn’t want to be let down, I guess. So, I’ve never really thought of this as… permanent? And that’s my mistake, Yamamoto-kun. I just never had a friend before you.”

“I didn’t either. I’m serious!” Yamamoto exclaimed at Tsuna’s dubious look. “I mean, I _thought_ I did, before we started hanging out again. But… it’s different with you. You made everything better.”

Tsuna laughed, a wet sound that struggled to worm its way out of his tightened throat. “That’s what I said about you to Gokudera-kun.”

“He’s probably not happy with me, huh?” Yamamoto mused, rubbing at the back of his neck. “He’s pretty protective of you.”

“You both are, apparently.” Yamamoto snorted out a laugh as Tsuna glared at him. “You can’t just attack people, even if they are jerks like Suzuki.”

“I still say he deserved it,” Yamamoto replied with a shrug. “I’d probably do it again.”

“Yamamoto-kun!”

“What? I’m just being honest. Keeping secrets hasn’t gotten either of us anywhere.”

Tsuna could attest to that. He’d definitely learned his lesson through all this, and he wasn’t keen on going back to not talking to Yamamoto for days at a time.

Tsuna felt that was all that needed to be said. But Yamamoto was fidgeting, throat working as if he was trying to say something.

“I talked to my dad about… what I was going through, back when I hurt my shoulder,” Yamamoto said after a while. “He said he noticed how depressed I was, but he didn’t know it was _that_ bad.”

“He kind of alluded to it, when I came in,” Tsuna murmured. “He thanked me.”

Yamamoto nodded. “I saw what it did to him. He wasn’t even there that day, but when I told him… that was the only time I’ve ever seen him cry. It made me realize how awful it must be for you. You were _there._ You saw me at my lowest. And I just bring it up all the time like it’s nothing. And I’m sorry for that, Tsuna, I really am.”

“You don’t have to be sorry!” Tsuna exclaimed. “If you need to talk about it, I’ll always listen.”

Yamamoto smiled, a ghost of his usual grin, but it was something. “I know you will. But I’m gonna try not to talk about it anymore. Dad says I treat everything that scares me like a joke, so… I wanna get past that, if I can. I won’t talk about it like it was some casual thing anymore. I don’t wanna do that to you, or to myself.”

Tsuna couldn’t say he wasn’t relieved. He was never quite sure what Yamamoto thought about his suicide attempt, given the way he talked about it. This was the first time Yamamoto had even implied that the event scared him, so that, at least, was progress.

“Just don’t bottle things up like before,” said Tsuna. “And I’ll do the same. We’ll do it together.”

Something in Yamamoto’s expression changed at that, though Tsuna couldn’t tell what he was thinking. But the way his eyes seemed to shine, just slightly, was telling enough. “It’s you and me, Tsuna,” Yamamoto said, hands balled up on his folded legs. He dipped his head, the fall of his hair obscuring his eyes. Tsuna could smell the salt anyway. “No matter what… okay?”

Like Yamamoto had to ask; maybe he thought he did, considering the way Tsuna had kept him at arm’s length before, no matter what Yamamoto said or did to prove his loyalty. Tsuna hated the lingering uncertainty he heard in Yamamoto’s voice. He’d put that there.

That wasn’t what Tsuna wanted. That was _never_ what he wanted.

“It’s you and me, Takeshi,” Tsuna replied, voice hoarse. Yamamoto’s knuckles turned white. “No matter what.”

Yamamoto’s answering laughter was loud and immediate, borderline hysterical. Tsuna watched as the beta’s shoulders shivered and turned inward, watched as Yamamoto covered his eyes with a forearm. “How lame am I?” Tears slid down his red cheeks, meeting at the bottom of his chin and dripping down to stain the fabric of his hakama. “Just ignore me.”

Tsuna shook his head, tears of his own building in his eyes, but he averted his gaze to the open doors, staring out over the sun-lit yard as his friend cried quietly before him. There was nothing he could say in that moment, though not for lack of trying. Tsuna understood exactly what Yamamoto was feeling, but it simply couldn't be put into words.

But he felt  _whatever_ it was just as strongly: a warmth at the very core of him, an itch at the back of his skull. Something that had gone beyond either of their control, slipping into its rightful place.

***

Tsuna finally thought to check his phone on the walk home. He was drained in every possible way, but he’d promised Gokudera an update, and he didn’t want the other omega's condition to worsen due to worry.

He had a single message; it wasn’t from Gokudera.

_Uncle Reborn: Headed to Italy. I’ll be back soon. I promise._

Tsuna stared at the familiar message for so long that the words started to lose meaning.

He should’ve expected it, really. The visit had already lasted longer than normal. But… still…

Tsuna texted Gokudera that he was on his way home. Then he put his phone back in the pocket of his hoodie and kept walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next stop... cloud country *evil grin*


End file.
